Last week, I got a text message from my ex. I hadn’t heard from her in a few months, and we were both seeing other people the last time we communicated. She said that she would like to honor her promise to take me out to dinner (as friends) once she got a job. I said “okay,” and we ate at a local diner. I had hoped that I would at least get an opportunity to kiss her during the course of the evening, but she seemed numb and the horror story she told made my stomach turn. While we were still together she told me she lost her virginity at 12, but this tale definitely tops that. Turns out, about 2 and half months ago, she was proposed to, got pregnant, and was cheated on and punched all in the same day. Even though the guy had other children, she said she knew he wouldn’t stick around for this one, but she would have the baby anyway because she steadfastly refuses any type of abortion. She moved out of her house into a motel but ultimately had a miscarriage. I was totally disgusted. Now I hadn’t seen her since October of last year, and in November (despite my pleas) told me she was going to try and work things out with her ex who was moving back to New York. That relationship ended in February, and she met this last jerk in May. I feel like part of the reason she may be reaching out to me now may only be because she was traumatized by recent events. We exchanged some harsh words when we broke up, and since the other night, all I can think about is the fact that this guy swindled her into having a baby after about a month (even though she “said” they used a condom) and she didn’t want to have a baby with me the whole three years we were together. In addition, she smokes pot daily and takes psychotropic drugs. As I said before it’s been almost a year since we last saw each other, she’s been through alot, and we’ve both been in other relationships (so the waters were kinda murky even before this new drama). I guess what I’m asking is should I continue to see her as a friend and see if anything develops or should I shut the door and run the other way? I trust your good judgment since you are the expert. Thanks for your help.
What you are telling me is that she is a drug addict. As a rule I tend not to trust what actively using drug addicts say. They usually are trying to manipulate things into their favor most of the time. You honestly don’t know if what she says happened really did happen. I think if you choose to stay in contact with her, you do it in a way that recognizes her addiction and how it directs her life to use people. Your focus could be on helping her get clean and sober. Yet, don’t put more effort into it than she does. She will suck you emotionally dry.
- Halfway House and Sober Living Network Announced by the Best Halfway House, Helping Those Recovering from Drug and Alcohol Addiction (prweb.com)
- DSM and Drug Addiction (maniacfire.wordpress.com)
- No Addiction Formula (noaddictionformula.wordpress.com)